


Dragon the Outlaw

by angstbot



Category: DQ, Once Upon a Time (TV), dragon queen - Fandom
Genre: Anti-Hood, F/F, anti-doq, anti-oq
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstbot/pseuds/angstbot
Summary: “You, forest dweller, should, oh how does Lily say it? It’s such a lovely human expression. Ah: You should die in a fire. And since I have plenty to spare I’d recommend that you find yourself elsewhere. Now.”Hood suggests that Mal and Regina invite him into their relationship. Mal gives him a dragon-strength dragging. Very anti-Robin.





	Dragon the Outlaw

“I beg your pardon?” Surely Robin Hood wasn’t suggesting what Maleficent thought he was.

“Well,” he began again, with what he surely thought was an ingratiating smile, “I know that you and Regina resumed your dalliance while I was gone, but of course that would have to end now because she’s mine,” he gestured vaguely. “However, she seems very fond of you, so I’d like to give you the opportunity to join us.”

“The opportunity,” she repeated back to him, a human trick she’d learned for those times when words simply would not come.

“Oh yes,” he said. “You’re a very attractive woman, so of course it’s a winning situation for all.”  

“You’re serious,” she finally managed as horror washed over her.

“Of course I am! I would never joke about this.” His dull face was impossibly earnest.

“You’ll have to forgive me, but that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“But we could be a family!” he cajoled. “Your daughter needs a father to replace her own even if she’s grown.”

 She tilted her head at him in confusion before realizing. “Ah, mammalian reproduction. Lily needs to replace no father, because she has no father.” He blinked at her. “Or, perhaps, it is clearer to say she has two mothers. Regina is Lily’s other biological parent.”

“Er, but, well, she was raised as human, so she might want a father figure anyway,” he sputtered.

“That’s before we even get into the fact that you routinely misplace your own children. When was the last time you saw little Roland?”

“Uh, well,” he began.

“Too busy trying to slime your way into Regina’s and my bed, were we?”

“Alright, forget the children. It can be just we adults.” He waggled an eyebrow at her.

The man’s brain was so terribly addled. Taking a breath, she took pity on him. “Yes, I have an arrangement with Regina that I enjoy quite a lot. However, there is no reason to involve you,” she explained slowly.

“But why wouldn’t you want to? I’m so handsome,” and ye gods he looked even more simian when he tried to be charming.

“No, child. You are not. And nothing in this realm or any other could persuade me to become sexually involved with you.”

“But how can two women even- It’s not real sex without my-” and when he cupped his crotch she was so disgusted she seriously considered magically removing hand, penis, and all to prevent that from ever happening again.

“You are such an intolerable boor,” she sighed, disgusted. “We’re done here. Get out of my sight,” she commanded.

“Well then you’ll just have to stop your involvement with Regina so she can be in a real relationship!” He said, tilting his chin up arrogantly and crossing his arms like a petulant hatchling.

“Oh I will?” she said mildly.

“Yes. Either both of us or you can’t have her at all. I have come here to very kindly allow you to be with her. I don’t believe you’re properly appreciative of how generous I’m being.”

She felt a curl of smoke trickle out of one nostril as she fought to restrain her temper. “The choice to be involved with me, or with you, is Regina’s alone. I appreciate that you are confused about this. Don’t think I don’t know that you pushed her until she gave in after she told you to stop pursuing her. Where I come from, that’s not looked on favorably.”

“But I’m her soulmate! I just needed to convince her to give in! She liked it in the end. You will too,” he insisted, moving forward and grasping her as if to kiss her.

In the next instant she had him suspended against the far wall in a rope of flame.

“Let me make something perfectly clear to you, worm,” she growled, crossing the room to prod him none too gently with a fingertip she allowed to transform ever so slightly toward a claw. “The only reasons my dear Regina has had anything whatsoever to do with an ogre like you is that she has a spectacularly low opinion of herself and because she was told that you were her soulmate and after losing everyone she ever cared about she liked the security.”

“But-”

She gagged him with a gesture. “No, you’re going to listen. She thought you were her last, best, only hope. And so she allowed you to leave her and then come back and leave and come back. She allowed you to manipulate her into sex she didn’t want to have because she was so grateful to have been chosen. She allowed you to treat her like a hysterical girl when she came to save your wretched life.” She smiled unpleasantly. “But _I_ , loving her more than she loves herself, will not allow it. I will not allow you to make Regina hate herself again the way she did before you, and the way she did because of you. This ends now. ”

The dragon raised her voice and called out, “Regina, dear? Can you come in here?” At the man’s wide eyes, she chuckled, “Oh yes, she’s home.”

Entering the room, Regina spotted the man hanging immediately and admonished, “Mal.”

“Robin Hood has come to generously allow me to continue to be your romantic partner,” the dragon explained.

“Oh he did,” Regina said more than asked.

“Yes, on the condition that we allow him to have sex with the both of us, because you’re his property.” A muffled objection came from the man and she sighed, but removed the gag. “What?”

“Not my property!” he insisted. “My soulmate! Destined to be with me!”

“Yes, about that,” Regina began, clearly trying to be diplomatic. “After thinking about it, I really believe I make my own destiny. What matters isn’t what some magic trick showed, but who I choose.”

“But you chose me!”

“I did, once,” Regina allowed. “But not again. I allowed myself to become attracted to your attraction to me.” She paused. “And the certainty of soulmates,” she acknowledged. “That was a bad decision I don’t care to repeat.”

“You’ll never be happy without me,” he snarled.

Regina’s face hardened. “I’ll risk it.”

“For her,” he sneered.

“For _me_ ,” Regina corrected. “Because I’m learning how to love _me_.”

“Ungrateful bitch!” he snarled, and Mal silenced him again instantly.

“You, forest dweller, should, oh how does Lily say it? It’s such a lovely human expression. Ah: You should die in a fire. And since I have plenty to spare I’d recommend that you find yourself elsewhere. Now.” She flicked her wrist, and he was gone. At Regina’s shocked look, she clarified, “I sent him back to his forest.”

Regina slid her arms around her and tucked her face against her neck. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him. For all he uses Roland to pick up women, the little one doesn’t deserve to be an orphan.”

“You are satisfied, choosing me, aren’t you?” Maleficent asked suddenly. “It’s not just because the alternative is . . . _that_?”

“Very much so, my dear dragon.” With that, Regina pulled her down into a slow, deep kiss.


End file.
